Monday, August 30, 2010

Aging Gracefully

Age is only a number. Youth lives in the soul.
Time may be a matter, but you can still decide to achieve a goal!
Find a passion and feel your soul - life will feel like a stroll.
Change you're mind state;
Life i great if you're listening you may be already on a roll!
No matter the case, you can always be great;
Make heat in the cold even if life gave you coal!

By now you know life is like a deck of cards;
Everyone been bruised, scrapped and scarred.
That burning feeling in your chest gone - charred!
No! Stand up let in the world for it's glory;
Let in that light and let down that guard.

Life is like a story;
Except we can make our own happy ending!

Coming from a twenty-two year old this probably sounds ridiculous, but I feel taht at any age, as an artist I will embrace life. Because, as you move further down the path of life things change. There will always be something new to observe for it's wonder. There will always be a cause to stand up for! Let me know what you guys think.



Saturday, August 14, 2010

Death: A love story

At first I asked, how could you turn your back?
Two kids and a wife weren't enough to keep your ass on track?
I know we all have baggage, but there's a time to unpack!
Wouldn't even do it justice to call it taken aback.
You saw life as a race to the finish and at that you led the pack.
Whatever heart was left told you to get life insurance three months back;
It was like you knew you were going to have that heart attack.
Hell, you knew you weren't coming back!
Not giving a fuck you knew you could never take it back.
Declared war on my life. I was under attack.

You know life is funny;
You weren't there to wipe my nose that was runny;
So, I had to look ahead for a day that was sunny.
Observing from the outside I found art and forgot about money.

Your ignorance made me see that there's an end to every storm;
My experiences in life caused me to be different then the norm;
Tears, death and art molded my heart to a more powerful form.
Always told me to follow my dream, even if it was in a college dorm.
I have to give it to you the little you taught me made my heart a swarm!
When you're thrown into a fox hole you have to stand up and reform!

To tell you the truth I still miss my father. I consider what he did giving up on life and family. His troubled past caused him a rocky future. I understand that everyone has their demons, but you must be strong enough to fight the demons off. You should do it for yourself, but if not for that for the people you love. I must say despite all of his problems he was never a bad father. He was in fact very loving and warm. Despite that, sometimes it's beyond me why there's still love in my heart even though he took my himself from me. Beyond the realization that he was an addict, and therefore was very sick. It really made me realize that life could change at any moment. So I said fuck it, and I realized I would follow my heart at any cost. Manage to be an artist in this country that is less than fair to our kind. Taking observations of life in such a way that even the ugliest thing could be beautiful, because anything can inspire an artist. Hell, I the darkest parts of my life are what keep me motivated. It's that mind state that will lead you toward turning negativity into positivity.

Within every death lies a fight to the death within the heart of every loved one. When my father first died I decided I would be the strong one. I would win the fight. I believe I vaguely remember a conversation with my father. He told me that in reality you will bury your parents, he told me to be strong and be there for any remaining family. I am the only man in my family, so I felt like I had to be the rock. After defeating a terrible anxiety/depersonalization problem, most likely derived from all of the pent up emotion. I observed myself from the outside in. This experience will either drive you nuts or make you stronger. I chose the latter and defeated it. Turning my mind in the direction where I was able to turn any negative into a positive. Therefore, inadvertently my father ruining his life just very well have made mine. Funny. The whole time I leaned on faith in life rather then faith in the church. it never worked for me, but if it works for you more power to you. In my mind, God is life. If that makes any sense to anyone. In finding yourself as a strong minded artist you cannot fail. You are already a success.



Have you had a similar experience?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Abbreviation Nation

Everyone hails to the D.E.A, FDA and the CDC.
Wait till the get a load of me!
Open your eyes too many inside are on a killing spree;
As long as it will turn their quarterly report up a few degrees
Hopefully, before your day comes you'll see.
Fuck a settlement fee!
I don't give a damn. A settlement's a guilty plea;
And it'll never bring things back to what they used to be!
Stop thinking that the kings are the only ones that can decree.
Pollinating society in disguise, like a killer bee.
You may disagree;
But consider they've been advertising drugs like products since color TV!

You may be surprised to hear about your family physician;
To him cash may be a great proposition.
Too many firing on the wrong cylinders. Working for a false mission!
Trust me, nothing good will come from those narcotic prescription.
It's time we give this injustice some recognition;
Where are all the politicians?
Continuing to roll down hill, because we give it our permission!
See that line outside the office? It's ammunition!
I have a proposition! It's time for a huge transition!
Medicine should heal, but it's giving society a deadly condition!

I always question how they way up everyday;
Granted some may have a good message they are trying to convey;
But, for some the dollar bill is too much of a temptation to betray;
Even though in the end we are the one's who must pay.
Laughing at how are society is as pliable as clay!
I never thought the F.D.A could be in disarray!
After all we live in the free world! U.S.A!

I lost my father to Vioxx, among other things. I think that by this point in our society, which is hopefully smartening up, we can see that it's about money. We live in a competitive economy and Big Pharma is business after all. A giant and powerful company with tons of money to lobby and effect as many decisions as they like. Have we not questioned why so many prescription drugs lead to addiction and or death?

Where I live on Staten Island, New York so many doctors are getting locked up, finally by the D.E.A, for giving out oxycodone and other narcotics like candy. Pay cash and receive a script for narcotics. I guess they made enough money arresting these kids on the street for selling their scripts. So, now we can begin to arrest "some" of the doctors. Hippocratic oath my ass! We need to put an end to this. Stop locking up so many for marijuana, and start putting away the people who are responsible for the true DRUG related deaths in this country.

I have many true stories that I have been involved in with crooked cops in the N.Y.P.D, another great yet sadly crooked organization. I was once arrested for buying marijuana. I got it out of an unnamed persons mailbox, followed by getting immediately arrested. They continue onn to tell me I shouldn't call him anymore, because the persons phone was tapped. They later asked me to rat on people for money, which I didn't do. However, question this. Why did'nt they ask for any information about this person who has pounds of marijuana? Is it because they already have him caught? No, it's because they can make more money arresting a bunch of small time peaceful smokers, rather then one big time dealer who btw is profiting from this venture. So, it seems to me that the Staten Island branch of the NYPD is quite crooked, because this person continues to sell. How?!

Away from disarray

Why do I feel this way? Like I have no choice.
Inside, but it was loud as day. That internal voice.
When I'm frantic my dream calms me like sunset at the bay.
Society replacing follows other morals, but I don't worry about they.
Keep it inside, that's where it'll grow. Forget what they say.
Unfortunately, as an artist I must observe society. Trust me, there's dismay.
Drawing more from within, too much propriety. Blindness in such a wide array.
FCC, FDA - Abbreviations change views. Molding you like clay.
Look to yourself for cues. You are the only one you must obey.
Stop focusing on your shoes. Worry about what you portray!
Even on the darkest day even on the darkest day;
There's no pain that your heart's tears can't wash away.
I hope you're listening to the message I'm trying to convey.
One day when you look back, you might notice that your going down hill like a sleigh.
Don't let temptation turn your sky grey.
If you fall for the temptation of the population, that's the price you pay.
I own my heart. Don't do the short lease. Pushing it my way everyday;
Not selfish.
I strive for internal peace. It seems, all I can do is sit back and watch the decay.
Take those ear plugs out and prove me wrong, pull away from disarray.

I sure hope people stop replacing laws for morals. Making other's views their own. Listen to your heart. If they stopped focusing on what they say it might come in clearer.